My First Love

When I first started writing the only real thing I wrote was poetry. It was a fast and easy way to express the feels that I was experiencing. At thirteen or so I was angry with the world, hurt and lost and really felt there was no one that I could share those feelings with. I don't really remember where the thought came from to write those emotions down I just remember one day writing. It was to me what I would imagine walking feels like to a baby. One minute you are crawling around and then the next you are like I think I can stand and then you are walking. Just instinct.

As the years went on I have written many different things from short stories to long fiction to even fanfiction which I still credit with getting me back into writing today but somewhere along the lines I have moved away from poetry. Sure I write a poem here or there but not with the same sitting in a room with a notebook focused on getting the words just right intensity. I even thought a couple of years ago to make a goal of writing a new poem everyday for the year. I think I actually wrote about three.

Then today I was watching Oprah Winfrey's new station and she has a wonderful new show called "Master Class" and the guest for today was Maya Angelou. As she was speaking I realized how letting that part of me go has really hurt me in some ways. Poetry was and is such a huge part of who I am. I can still quote poems I learned in high school and college and when I hear a poem that really touches me then I am moved beyond. So why have I not written a real poem in really over a year? That thought hurts.

At one point I even thought to publish a book of poems and still I have done nothing with the poetry that I have around my home. It's painful to think that I am sitting on something that is so dear to me and yet not expressing it.

While watching the show I could feel a poem coming to me and I really want to work on it and explore that aspect of writing again. I am not going to say that I am going to write a poem a day but I am going to work on putting together a book of sorts with my poetry and looking into sharing it with the world. Thanks Maya.

So Confused

First off Happy New Year to you all. I wish I could say that my neglect of this blog had been because I have been seriously writing the next great American novel but at last I have been suffering from holiday hangover. I also have been trying to get a few things organized over the last few weeks so my time has been a little scattered but I like to think that I am back and ready to type :).

That is why I am so confused. For almost four days now I have had this story floating in my head every time I start to go to sleep. I can hear the characters and they sound really funny and like they are going through some crazy stuff but again it is when I am going to sleep. There are plenty of times that I would normally get up and just write it down but I haven't because I have been really drained of late. So I kept sleeping instead of writing.

I finally after two days of thinking about this story decided to write it. I sat down ready to roll and barely got through four pages. The story wasn't nearly as funny as it had sounded in my head. I almost felt sorry for the main character and the way it was going the dad wasn't going to cause everyone to get arrested like he had in my mind. It was a complete and utter mess. Not even close to what I had been thinking.

This got me to thinking. Most of my stories sound funnier to me in my head then I feel they do once I start writing. What does that mean? I'm not sure but I started wondering if maybe I should record myself speaking the novel and then type from there. Maybe that would keep the excitement and the laughter in the script. I'm still working out how I would do this but I am really hopeful that this might work.

As for my NaNo script. I keep meaning to finish it but I have a few new ideas in my head and I am trying to at least get out the premise of those before going back to finish and that is only half the battle. Once it is finished then I am going to have to start editing. That is going to take some time as I am sure it is waaaayyyy to long. The problem is that I love it and I'm sure that I am not going to want to cut anything even knowing that I must. It is going to be a bear to get into.

Alright, so now that I am back in the saddle I need to get to work. Talk to everyone later.